Sunday, June 26, 2005


how do you really prepare to say goodbye?
everyday is another given day to die
and every night is another page in your book
how many pages do you have that are good?
how many pages embarass your name?
and how many pages go down in the hall of fame?
it is so hard to say goodbye
but never does anyone want to die
there is always this percular fear
pictures and objects are all that best explains
what that person was and now will never be the same
a long empty silence that was never there before
but we must remember that there is always something more
there is always that still soft voice
that speaks to you across the dark void

© 2002 thomas bates

Saturday, June 25, 2005


the fire came down and burned up this town
burned it all down to the dry barren ground
and a car rides off further into the sunset
a burning sun blazing black on the carcass
and no regrets in his eyes as he drives
away from everything that was his life

© 2002 thomas bates

Friday, June 24, 2005


xelpmoc era slliks laicos
sdneirf dellac esoht htiw yllaicepse
yas uoy tahw yb truh ylisae era yeht
yaw ruoy sklaw ohw regnarts emos naht erom
meht fo esrow eht era snoinapmoc elamef
tceffe onimod eht dnuora gnirb syawla sgnileef
nwod sllaf dilos ti speek taht gnihtyreve dna
dnvorg nerab dloc eht otnu uoy dnuora lla
semit tsap morf dellips neeb sah doolb erehw
deid ro dedaf yllautneve spihsdneirf dlo erehw
derebmemer si gnihtyreve tub ti evas nac voy semitemos
redrum dna niap sretsef renroc krad eht ni kcab reverof
erom dna erom edisni sworg truh eht dna
roolf eht no tuo sllips dna llehs eht pu sllif ti litnu

© 2003 thomas bates

Thursday, June 23, 2005


the body snatchers took my soul
i am but an empty shell
the day walker in me has been killed

© 2003 thomas bates

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


empty columns of cold chairs
sit there in their solemn stares
smell of coffee is a gurgling sound
acoustic guitar being strummed around
second hand goes past the ten minute mark
twenty minutes and it will all come to a start
cold chairs will be warmed by their familiar owners
conversations will be stronger as the smell of flowers
philosophy and theology are spoken here
ever becoming closer to the wondrous sphere

© 2001 thomas bates

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


drown me, release me from my pain
take me under, take away my stain
i hear the sadness calling my name
i pushed it out before, but it still remains
silence... isolate myself
silence... isolate my hell
he was here, he is now gone
yet he is there, oh my, God
i should be happy
but can you blame me?
it happened so fast, no time for questions
it is my new pain... shock to the system
3 months added to many years of pain
we all prayed, but it all remained
numbed by my shock, numbed by my doubt
it cannot be real, let me... oh, let me out
loud... loud... loud, my diversions i pick
yet stronger... oh, drat... is the death ship
it sails closer... closer... closer
it becomes louder... louder... louder
drown me, release me from my pain
i pushed it out before, but it still remains
another name is etched in my memory
another face becomes blurry
i wanted another fate
i wanted to see thy face
but it fades to black
and it lays there flat
i stand and look and try to resist
i stand and look and hold myself within
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and see myself turning to black
questions they come and they confront me
they become my offenders, defense is not seen
i put my hands in my pockets and become stone
pelt me down... pelt me down... pelt me down
many come today, and later they will go
whatever they wanted, i half way know
yet the questions beat me down
so i stand and look and become stone
i draw a breath and fearlessly look death in the eye
you come... you come... you come to fill my mind
questions... oh so many freakin' dreams
will they ever so leave me alone... leave
release me
oh, please
calmness came first, and then came the intense confusion
i'm surrounded by the suffocating, overpowering fusion
the waves beat, oh here comes the ship
loud... loud... loud, my diversions i pick
but the waves, oh, they... oh so ever beat
they bring the ship closer and closer to me
from the farthest fathoms it came
resist i can, but it still remains
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and look and see thy hands
oh so clammy... oh so cold
oh so constricted... oh so old
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and look and see thy head
oh so peaceful... yet so quietly afraid
on the closed eyes rest thy mighty name
i stand... i sit... i stand... i sit...
i watch them come... i guard myself within
they cry... they smile... they cry
i stand and look and question why
another offense to my soul
i drop oh so far down below
i want to hold thy hands and cry for comfort
i want to feel the warmth oh stolen in thy depart
i want to hear my name spoken from thy lips
but the sound is drowned under the death ship
drown me, release me from my pain
take me under, take away my stain
it happened oh so fast
and another light fades to black
the past we lay at his sides
we try to smile, yet we cry
a fight gone... a hunger dead
i stand and look and see thy head
a mighty transformation unseen
i should be very happy
but who can blame me?
can't you see what i see?
infront of me... infront of me
sunken in a box, feet hidden from me
silence... isolate myself
speeches of dedication and farewells
waiting rooms... small talk to calm our souls
oh never let me drop... oh never let it fall down
proud it brings to me the guest appearance of the flag
we shall march and march and carry it in our drag
pain still remains
curse the pain
headaches and tremors come in
i can hear the coming death ship
sit and wait for it... it shall come
and when it does, be oh so calm
march... strain... march... pray
march... strain... pray... drag
many sounds does the ship have when it hits the shore
many tears welcome the reaper when he arrives for his chore
i stand and look and understand but cry invisible tears
i stand and look and try to isolate my many fears
bleeding through the flag draped carriage
it's our remembrance, our decodance of heritage
oh so peaceful... yet so afraid
on thy closed eyes rest thy mighty name

© 1997, 2005 thomas bates
in memory of my grandfather

Monday, June 20, 2005


she always had a smile on her face
she always wore that one dancing gown
when words were spoken, she would fall into a dream
and that was when she would dance

she breathes in the magical air around her
she dreams from a word that you say

she is slumped in a chair now, her gown is ripped open
the dream's dance inside of her has taken a turn
she did not remember what she was doing before the dance
and that was when she looked at you

she breathes in the magical air around her
she dreams from a word that you say

deeper into the night, her feet dance the steps
she knew the dance well, but she fell today
she looked hard into the lake for her reflection
but all she could see was wet mud and sand
where she saw your words sinking
you can see the concentration break in her stride
suddenly she drops her head
you can hear her bones turning to dust
and the magical air steals away her dance

© 1997, 2004 thomas bates

Friday, June 17, 2005


shiny balloon in the sky
holding on by a tether
the reflections in your skin : mysterious
as if we are looking into a window
a window into another dimension
another world i wish i could disappear into
to leave this world and enter in the sphere
in that dimension everyone knows each other
but not in the way they do in this dimension
in there everyone are friends, there are no enemies
no horrible pasts to keep you separated from another
no fears that linger in this strange utopia
there is no more death or sickness
it is so peaceful and perfect
but yet it is only just a dream
and the balloon deflates slowly by years
and the dream fades along with it

© 2005 thomas bates

Thursday, June 16, 2005


i am an ancient killer, my legacy is supreme and great
for years empires came before me: all excessive weight
they plead me to not slaughter and take away their fame
i've written all good and evil parts to my eternal name

all their memories will lie inside me: leaking out from the dead
and it goes on hour and hour till they are all one in my head
for many i am a monster, for many i am honor and grace
my reputation proceeds me and yet the foolish still call my name

i am an ancient killer, i ravaged and plundered many lands
i've killed for kings in europe and slaughtered those in the "stans"

after each signed treaty in blood, i sit in the shadows and wait
history loves to repeat itself for repetition is your future's fate
i am an ancient killer, i will make sure you all are broken and dead
soon you'll see the mountains fall apart, for my hunger cannot end

i am the ancient, i ravaged, plundered and conquered many lands
there are those who are for me, and those who say i am banned

© 2004, 2005 thomas bates

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


a struggle inside
voices of genocide
burning away my insides
with their volumes of lies
penetrating through a crack in my fortress of stone
only by myself am i not really ever truly alone
there across from me sits this ancient evil
this evil, folklore describes as the devil
his eyes glisten with crimson blood and fire
his teeth are liken to half inch spires
his hunger is unsatiable for the precision entropy
my soul is just another of his countless trophies
but i have the power of free will
and in the end it will be his blood spilt
he is and was never a friend of mine
what's due him shall come in time

© 2004 thomas bates

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


this world is no longer amused
to awaken the hate is to light a fuse
and it shall bring forth the coming muse
fire rains down mixed with ash and blood
human flesh, glass and steel replacing wood
and their cries are lost in the flood
a war of all wars is coming nigh
as the fire drops from the sky
and the millions prepare to die
this battle has been quietly raging for far too long
but what is there to be done to undue the wrong
before the last vision of peace dies in a song
the vocal chords are slashed by the blade
malice and treachery are hidden in the glade
on both sides, blood has been paid
another person has fallen away
and what more is there to say
for the sun goes down on another day

© 2004 thomas bates

Monday, June 13, 2005


i see traces of my past
through those around me in the present
ghosts and memories again will manifest
the innocence i once had
i long for those days
can i go back some way?
to reverse many years of pain and stains
to once again bring a smile on my face
but by twist of fate the door has been closed
and i shall again be forever with these ghosts

© 2004 thomas bates

Sunday, June 12, 2005


did i hear angels sing?
wish you were here with me
come over here and hold my hand
let me know what you think of it
my love for you waits within
it burns like white lightning
far out beyond the great blue
there's a love that awaits for you
we can go there, but that is only up to you
there is a secret place where only angels tread
where our love cannot be displaced or lost
where the modern world out there tries to harm
you can come to me and find solace in my arms
did i not hear that angels dream?
i wonder if some are of you and me?
come over here and hold my hand
let me show you my heart
let us allow this love to unfold
in a world that is growing old
i want to hold you in my arms

© 1995, 2004 thomas bates

Saturday, June 11, 2005


where are you coming from with this?
would i also be betrayed with a kiss?
a veil you put over my face to shield my innocence
i am so confused and tired of your insidiousness
am i waking up from a deep, deep sleep?
am i seeing what, from me, you keep?
why must i assume and beat around the apparently burning bush?
i am tired of the hidden disrespect and abuse you consistently push
my patience is wearing thin and i am losing touch
soon words will be shared and i fear the outcome
the games we play can be dangerous for the innocent others
why can't we just be honest to each other and stop the slaughter?
i have washed the blood from my hands and now i am clean
when will you be honest and stop using me for your selfish greed?
i am tired of playing this game that i never knew i was a part of
i'm throwing up the white flag of surrender in order to overcome
in the end it will not be just me you hurt, but sadly yourself
i really wish you will be honest so i can save you from your hell
you are building us up for deconstruction
and our respect will be lost in oblivion
honesty is the first step to forgiveness and reconciliation
i do not want my anger to change me so heed my consideration

© 2005 thomas bates

Friday, June 10, 2005


my eyes burn waiting for you
looking at this screen looking for truth
messages travel abroad to never be seen again
did you get them and why the growing silence?
i just wipe a solitaire tear at the corner of my eye
what does it matter if we talk to each other tonight?
i would give you all of me if you are there
but then what is there left of me to share
the clock ticks away the hours and days that i wait
to hear anything, a response to what i had to say
but there is nothing there in the mailbox
so what should i do, wait or hang up?
on an one way street, it is easy to lead one further away
but on a two way street at least i get to see your face
yet again with faith i wait for you just one more day
but only God will decide how long on this planet i shall stay
a gamble with time and destiny we both take
one ignores, while the other instigates
but for how long shall we play this game
i only want to know how is your day

© 2004 thomas bates

Thursday, June 09, 2005


i want to steal your eyes for just a day
to look through the world through you
for a few seconds to be someone else
even if they are colourblind, i do not mind
anything new, than what i know, would be refreshing
to see love through another's
to cry would even be great too
like a baptism of a new birth i long for
to put my life back into focus
to long for the things i take for granted
to be introduced to things and feelings new to me
and then i can see that the world i live in isn't crazy
and that there is more out there waiting for me
to renew the passion of living inside of me

© 2004 thomas bates

Monday, June 06, 2005


as we open the door and enter the room
we come upon a foot
tracing the foot up the leg to the knee
where we find another leg tucked under
an ankle resting there against the knee cap
and then to the back where an arm is drawn back
a hand tucked under the back
and then we go up the back bone up to the neck
he lays there with a cover over his eyes
in his ears rest headphones pumpin in aggression
his life is confusing and mysterious right now
it is hard for him to figure out who he is
at work, he is a robot
mindless working away like an addict
strung out for the next job that shall divert his mind
when he is clocked out the eraser comes
erases his mind clean of any emotion and reason
he goes home and is confused who he is
nothing seems to be real not even himself
he feels if he peels away his skin there will be infinite space
that to his surprise he shall find an enourmous void
where his voice and thoughts are just echoes heard by no one
when he writes out his frustration, he gambles
like who cares... for poetry nowdays
this world he lives in is so uncivilized
people are only looking out for themselves
many times he has felt the pain
the wounds of the many selfish enstrangements
from those looking for themselves using him in the process
but who is he? he thinks to himself
what do they see when they see him?
what was the purpose of the morbid friendship
he felt like a battery
just used to give whatever they needed for the moment
they shall use him over and over until he is drained empty
then just tossed away and they walk away
away with everything precious to him
he is then left with himself
in which he does not even recognize anymore
just an empty shell... even God feels so far away sometimes
whenever he needs God the most, He is gone
but through this hell, a glimpse of hope is there
through his rational thought will he know what his purpose in life is
yes he has been used over and over and over... and to what gain?
but he can look at this hell and step through it all the better
and then life shall once again have meaning
and new understanding shall fill the shell he now inhabits
a pulse will once again push him farther on to his new goal
to find who he is in this world and where he fits in
but along the way he will still accept the cuts and scrapes
because life is not always easy and people come and go
some people will leave you and some will die around you
but through these situations there are lessons to be learned
and God is still there through it all leaving you clues along the way
as He walks before you and watches your every step
helping you as you learn who you are and what life has to give
we shall leave this young man now
he is never alone even though the silence is suffocating at times
but it is the hope of tomorrow that lets him breathe
it is the shadow of God upon his path that insures him
the darkness that lets him know everything will be alright
and the blood spilling from his skin is real
and he is not a robot or a battery
there is more to this life that he needs to find
so he steps out on the long and hard journey

© 2004, 2005 thomas bates

Sunday, June 05, 2005


hot and sticky
the sun baked children sway
the beats and chords of melody
the distraction of beauty
ringing an echo into your memory
give into the cascading river of notes
and everything surrounding you becomes
slipping into the nonexistance as you shut it all out
becoming one in the communion
of the anamorphic atmosphere

© 2002 thomas bates

Saturday, June 04, 2005

08/07/2004 Part 2

if life is a puzzle, the only missing piece is me
i try to slow down once in a while, but it is not me i see
i cannot find myself in the pile
i can look for miles and miles
everything is just right in sync
and me, i am the missing link
i need to start to find me in this place
and all i have to start with is my name
this sunset is beautiful and reminds me of someone
someone that i thought i could grow old with and love
but she is gone now and this life is in front of me
the beauty and mystery of what is me is what i need to see
and dissect it from the memories and lessons within
and only then shall i find the man under this skin
now i shall look to the green trees to help thy vision
as i ready myself to embark on this new mission

© 2004 thomas bates

Friday, June 03, 2005

08/07/2004 Part 1

as i sit, the coolness brushes by my ears
the singing of birds and frogs are near
the break of water from a fish
the ripples from the gentle wind
the rustling of squirrels in the trees
the chatter of insects behind me
the warmth of the sun on my face
as it slowly goes down, reflection of the lake
my legs weak from the hour long hike
resting here on this quiet dock tonight
squirrels running to find their dinner on the ground
it is peaceful and serene here and all around
i am here not to contemplate life but to rest
life it moves too fast for me now
and i am just here gathering speed for the rest
taking everything in of the sun's glow

© 2004 thomas bates

Thursday, June 02, 2005


vanity is the death of all compassion
how can you truely love someone in this life
how can you look upon one another in compassion
if you cannot get over yourself
if you cannot get beyond your own beauty and perfection

© 2004 thomas bates

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


i try so hard... they push me down
down into the barren ground
i fight... i struggle... but what for?
i am and will be one with the floor
strength leaves so as my will
i buckle over and into the hole i fill

© 1996 thomas bates