A FRIEND IN ME

peace be still
to hurt isn't my will
stay here in my arms
stay here where there's no harm
i can clothe you in security
to be safe is to be here with me

© 1997 thomas bates

#28

her eyes twinkle at me
green of the colour of the sea
blue swallows me
she hides inside of me
i will guard her from all wrong
she is in my heart strong
i am grateful for being her friend
but where shall i stand in the end

© 2004 thomas bates

PEACE THROUGH SORROW

through the doorway they look
something has happened... something is wrong
an empty seat all alone amongst the crowd
the silence from it was very loud
a whisper repeats a phrase of sorrow
"just like a vapor... here today... gone tomorrow..."
a teacher crosses out a name
and life scratches out a face
but out there seeing life in full understanding in God's grace
there is a new and deathless face, but the same old name

© 1996 thomas bates

#27

crawling through the ears
sneaks the aural snake
until it sinks in its teeth
the pounding of the beat
of the ancient tribal spirits
breaks through your skin
slowly pouring in... mixing in
the infusion of the blood burning intense
gives birth to a new breed
the beat drones
slipping you into a coma

© 2004 thomas bates

FLEETING GLANCES

love is not for me
but i want it so much
when will i stop hurting
when will i stop searching
when will i stop searching those eyes
those eyes of avoidance
when will there be a connection
an exchange of greetings and a smile
instead i see nothing
i get nothing in return
and i keep walking
alone

if they only knew

© 2004 thomas bates

SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL FACE

my heart is a room with doors all around
there's no key to that special one i have found
where there was love is now nothing but thin air
i stopped my hands from moving and looked everywhere
i thought i found a love to take me out of this place
someone that i enjoy, but she hides away her face
she's a beautiful face, but it all falls down
and i am left with spinning horizons all around
she's a beautiful face
don't let her get away

i'm all alone, because of one little conversation
i look up, but where's my gaze's destination
my love is gone and the sky has a sorrowful hue
but i see someone, and i finally can get over you
she's a beautiful face
don't let her get away

does she know how much she means to you
then why does she avoid the ever present issue?
does she see you walking around?
what's in her heart, will it slip out?
does she see you late at night,
when she lays her head and shuts her eyes?
what will happen when she opens her mouth?
what will the words be when they come pouring out?

what she doesn't know, would she know now?
what she doesn't feel, would she feel it somehow?

© 2001, 2007 thomas bates

THE COMING OF THE WHALES

a winding road near the edge of the cliff
leads to the house of a man named jim
sitting all the way on top above the ocean
jim enjoys living up there with his woman
at night, she looks out for him
he is a sailor and loves to fish
he will be gone for awhile with full sails
she knows he'll be back with the whales

© 1995, 2007 thomas bates

COFFEE

sitting there
coffee aroma fills the air
my eyes look around
shifting to the air then to the ground
as i look around, something caught my eye
she was very beautiful with a smile that spoke nice
i was astonished, she just kept looking at me
i wonder what she thinks about over what she's seen
her hands held to her chin, she just stares
curiosity is there

© 1995 thomas bates

GETTING BY

life was easy yesterday
i never saw the change
where were you when i was trying to get by?
i miss the way you smiled
now you're a far million mile
where were you when i was trying to get by?

sick and tired of all the silence
the chair beside me is silent
where were you when i was trying to get by?
it wasn't justice for what you done
the change i guess has just begun
where were you when i was trying to get by?

lose in a web of confusion
slowly melt away into isolation
where were you?
i was always there for you
now i'm the lonely fool
where were you when i was trying to get by?

© 1997 thomas bates

DISAPPOINTMENT IS A PAINFUL RIFT

it is so hard to not to disappoint
everyone puts you up so high
sometimes so high that i shall fall
and when i shall fall... please remember
that i have tried to stay on top of it all
but the muscles in me are tense and tried
and my heart is broken from your contempt
and ulcers rack my stomach
please forgive and forget
in this lifetime, we shall be broken
everyone of us at one time sooner or later
but please remember we were friends before
and through it all friends should still remain in the end

it is so hard to not to disappoint

© 2004 thomas bates

CHANCE DICE

i do not like confrontation
brings around augmentation
making bigger any irritations
opening up any chance of separations
mixed emotions
broken devotion
silent stares, quiet thoughts
any thoughts of respect lost
fear comes in, trust is stopped
any chances of anything flopped
every word remembered for future references
redrawing of lines and mending of broken fences
old doubts brought back into play
new thoughts come in to slay
friendship out, avoidance steps in
what was love is now hurt within
if only we can turn back the time
if only we knew our future's crime
but we're stuck here to dine
sipping on hot spoiled wine
bitterness brought to the end of a sunrise
to begin a new day to roll the chance dice

© 2001 thomas bates

#26

i am a rat trapped in a hole
the pain has swallowed me whole
darkness envelopes me and blots out the light
falling deeper into the pit, it is useless to fight
my insides hurt and i am in agony
but on the outside a smile you see
i walk the miles to wear off this skin
never shall i lose, but yet when shall i win
it is a never ending battle and i am in this alone
those around me are oblivious unless i let them know
its constant residence inside me is no longer welcome
i am tired and want release, i want my freedom

© 2003 thomas bates

PURGE

someone is there in my mind
how can i erase my thoughts tonight
get rid of the madness and chaos
but somehow i have grown callous
she is intriguing, but frustrating
i long for peace and separation coming
those eyes, those haunting eyes
they look through me and i cannot hide
i am confronted and i do not like it
she is burying me into a endless pit
my only hope is to remember who i love
and then i shall rise out this pit and above

© 2001 thomas bates

SILENCE

keep me silent and still
to talk to the person is no use
they are immature and arrogant
to have a decent conversation
exhaustive
every sentence begins and ends with them
even if they are not right, they will always
be there
you bore me
you frustrate me

keep me silent and still
since they try my patience
bite my tongue, clench my fist
grit my teeth, lock my jaw
if only my eyes will not deceive me
and let them see the annoyance
in me
you bore me
you frustrate me

shut up
just shut the hell up
will you?
just for one conversation at least

© 2004, 2007 thomas bates

IN TIME OF DESPAIR, I CRY OUT

i want to slip into a coma
i want to leave this life
i want to escape their eyes
i want to feel this thing they call love
i want to kill the identity of "i"
shower down on me, God, Your grace
take away this constant pain inside
put the old me six feet under in the grave
my heart is racked in pain
i want to stand alone in the rain
and let the world around me fade away
and let me relax and find peace again
i can't keep up with everybody's expectations
i can't take the pressure being their superman
i want to take a permanent vacation
and leave this world behind that has me condemned
i am an outsider... a social outcast
only a few really get me and love me
but many look at me and i feel so alone and cold
God love me
be real to me
be more than a word to me

© 2004 thomas bates

AS I OF HER

when it is late and quiet
does she think of me as i of her?
hear the wind blow through the hanging metal
sitting here soaking in the atmosphere
and deep in the dark corners of your mind
a thought is still present and goes stronger by age
a thought of someone you are proud of
a thought of someone you love
to sit, laugh, and communicate with
when it is over though and late and quiet
and all there is but only you and your thoughts
well... does she think of me as i of her?

© 2001 thomas bates