#23

to look upon you against this sky is grace
i trace the contours of your skin and face
the sun shines on you
your eyes glisten like jewels
smiling, you turn towards me
those lips so gentle and petite
yet to kiss them would spark a fiery flare
the wind softly whispers through your hair
your beauty is haunting and eternally praised
in solem reverance, my eyes are raised
honesty, respect, and commitment i give to you
and all of my love is also given to thee too
to take your hand in mine is a treasure
to honour you with all i have is my pleasure
let us begin this long journey together
through the good and the bad forever

© 2006 thomas bates

MY SUCCUBUS

you come to me in my weakest of hours
and share with me your darkest desires
your kiss is sweet and intoxicating
your embrace is gentle yet suffocating
the liquid of your words flow into my ears
and wash away all common sense and fear
the kiss on my neck it burns with passionate deceit
your motives you keep hidden deep and discreet
the more intense you love me
the harder is for me to leave
yet i long for freedom from your slavery
for your feelings are shallow and empty
you can't take my hurt and sadness away
you only bring more and more along the way
someday i shall be confident and strong
and then i shall break free from your bonds
and then you shall depart from me
and i will finally be set free

© 2006 thomas bates

#22

ambient sounds softly drip into the small space
a faint light resonates
the whisper of a swirling breeze above
however thoughts go outside
to the lonely dark and vacant night
where is there love to be found?
where is there peace to be discovered?
to trade a life for a life would be grand sometimes
to leave this shell behind to release this restless energy
bellowing up from inside this host
burning deep down inside
wanting release
a longing to be somewhere familiar
surrounding ripples go out but never touch
islands are lonely and we all are stranded
to leave this island of solitude for new experiences
is too scary and painful to dwell on
yet thoughts go outside into vast emptiness
to search for a warmth of another looking beyond
seeking union to find communion and eternal bliss

© 2006 thomas bates

MY DATE WITH GAD

broken fingers and broken wrists
is all that is left of me from the kiss
to taste those lips so soft and sweet
was to welcome a poison to infest me
you whispered something into my ear
my eyes wide open, "what do you fear?"
your voice is intoxicating through time
words and thoughts pour into my head
soon i fear what words were mine
or what words by you were left behind
and this sickness now in me has spread
and i want to gain back control of my mind
it is everything in my life that i fear
and it is the fear that brought me here
i will take this antidote daily
eventually again i shall be free

© 2006 thomas bates

BUMPER WARS

are they magnets?
drawn close to the nearest metal
annoying and irritating they are
only wish they were from afar
why are they in such a hurry?
where we're going... we all get there the same
some will try to cheat and rush to get there
however what good does it do,
to endanger those in order to be first?
for in the end we all will be dead

© 2006 thomas bates

THE POLISHED DEAD

there are liers and thieves amongst us
who lie about their representation
who steal from us for their benefit
on an altar they are raised powerful
we cannot see through their facade
through our ignorance and gullible hearts
they will keep their motives hidden
by their first impression we are sold
and millions they shall profit through us
until we start to see through the veil
pieces of it will rip away through their sin
until we shall see above and beneath their skin
and their reign shall crumble all around
and the suicide they brought on was their own
and they shall drown slowly in the darkest red
for their ways are of those of the polished dead

© 2006 thomas bates

RELEASE

to be honest i do not fit anywhere anymore
this life has moved on without me
i have been kept in this labyrinth far too long
i cannot find my way out
i have lost touch with those around me
and those i care for are just too far away
even those who are near me cannot touch me
i have built these walls and they are fortified
my feelings have been numbed by pattern
pattern of mindless repitition that starves me
all the fun and humanity is leaving me
i creep into the shadows to conceal my pain
behind closed doors i would rather remain
once in a while i try to venture out
but my paranoia never ceases to entertain me
everything is the same to me now days
everyone in their own way are the same too
when can i break this pattern and feel different
i just need to be released from me
i fear going to sleep now days
for the fear of the vicious cycle repeating again
i want to know what it means to feel alive again

© 2006 thomas bates

#21

i feel like i am losing my humanity or my identity
i do not know who i was or who i have become
i feel like i am losing touch with the world
when i am home after a day of interaction i feel alone
i feel empty inside and somewhat regretful
feeling like i could have done better that day
all my conversations have become arrogant
and i talk about those i care for behind their backs
it is really starting to get noticeable
not probably by those around me but by me
i am my own worst critic and sometimes i think it is a good thing
maybe then i can figure out when to shut up and to put up
maybe then i can figure out how to talk to that certain someone
maybe then i can stop worrying about myself in the view of others
maybe then i do not have to feel alone or empty inside anymore
and finally feel good for a change and know it will all be alright
and finally then i can know how to truelly love again; however...
i have to take that first step to try to change myself for the better
before i get too close to the edge and fall over completely
to be buried by my failures, words, regrets and pain

© 2006 thomas bates

DEAD MAN WALKING

i feel expired beyond my time
when is the time i die?
sometimes i long for the end
but in the morn i rise from bed
i wish i had a secret power that you would not know
to where i could have selective hearing
but not the selective hearing you know of
but the kind to where i can select the inner thoughts
to hear what you are thinking of me as i walk by
what you say to yourself inside when you see me
to know if you find me attractive and interesting
or to know if you would want to put a bullet in my temple
these are the thoughts in me that you do not see
these are the thoughts that make me a dead man walking
for inside i am in a struggle to keep on living
there is this hope growing inside of me
so do not worry, this is not a cry for help
it is just me being honest and transparent
there are angels i see daily where i wish i could hear them
to see if i have any way to save me any chance of rejection
to do them a good service of not bothering them
to save them the time of being annoyed by presence
but who knows, maybe they might like me
i just do not know at all and am so clueless inside
i am so dense inside and i would not catch your hints
it is because of this third phase of my life i feel dead
it is about to be a dawn of a new decade
there are no specialities planned yet
which makes me feel more less of a person i already am
i wish i was felt needed and appreciated for once
i know it is easy to say i love you
but sometimes those are just words
words i know have been used with the deepest intentions
but then i have heard those same words spoken carelessly
killing a piece of me slowly everytime
to those i do love they are with others now
and others are just too far away to do anything about it
yet i should grab onto that flicker of hope
see if it will grow in the palm of my hand
hold it carefully to sustain life and see it mature
will that hope change me eventually in the inside?
will i be able to grow as a person and learn to love again?
someday my train will arrive in the station
and on it will be the one i will spend the rest of my days
however when it comes i will not know
and when it does come, life will be breathed inside of me
and i will finally be able to truly smile again
and this pain inside will cease and desist

© 2006 thomas bates

IN MEMORIUM of PO

death is mysterious
it comes in like a fog
never knowing who will be next
swallowing those close to us in its path
it was a shock to hear of your death
you were a joyous person and great friend
the little pleasures entertained you well
and then you left this world so sudden
you arrived and left on the same day
it is almost like a dream
my mind is numb and do not know what to think
we had fun together back in the day
and now you are gone and those days lost forever
my mind's eye is now blind and i can't see you anymore
i know you will be great in the afterlife
taking your joy and innocence along with you
someday we shall see each other again
but till then we have different paths

© 2006 thomas bates

#20

life can be frustrating
never knowing where you fit in
your mind is full of voices
never able to find the one that is you
never able to find real peace and purpose
people come and go in your life
some just want to use you for their own gain
some are geniune and true and they are dear
however it is hard to find them through the crap
you have to go through alot of pain and tears
before you can find true happiness
and then you wonder if it is really true
what is truth in this world we live in now?
there are so many lies we are force fed
vanity is the whore of this world
and pride and prejudice still roam the streets
looking for those weak hearted to possess
what happened to love and honor?
we are all just trying to survive in our own way
and if we hurt others along the way that is their fault
for they stepped into it and deserved it
but that is the philosophy of the world now days
and it is evolving into a more complex entity
to show compassion now days is a weakness
and that is something that is not respected
this is sad for those who want to find love
because everyone is guarded and close-minded
never really revealing the real person inside
and those who are loyal and honorable become extinct
leaving behind a cold and vicious world to raise the young
i would rather have someone in my life who has weakness
than someone who would turn on you in order to get by
to stab you in the back as they conspire with others
to leave you in the dark as they reveal the intimate moments
only shared between those who hold trust and honesty in reverence
but this world is different and weakness is shunned upon
look out for yourself and do not help anyone
because if you do then you will not find this so called happiness
but are you really happy,
or are you scared?

© 2006 thomas bates

EMBERS OF AUGUST

i can feel a presence
surrounding me
whispering a gentle breeze
the trees sway side to side
my head is bowed
eyes closed and i listen
a weight falls upon my shoulders
pressing me down to my knees
a stirring inside of me
i see a pillar of fire in the distance
closer and closer it weaves
cleansing the earth
the heat warms my face
before me the pillar stops
round and round it spins
i sit now in a deep trance
finally it moves through me
from red to blue
as it passed it took all my impurities
and left me smoldering, lying prostrate
smoke rising from me, yet untouched
the presence is still here beside me
still whispering a gentle breeze
cooling and healing it is to me
and i awake and all is finally still

© 2006 thomas bates

#19

engimatic beauty of my dreams
will i see you in the wakening?
the manifestation of all my desires
never to be seen by my own two eyes
will i only see you by my third eye?
somehow i feel that you are real
that you exist beyond the 4th plane
and maybe you are a combination of all good
yet i want to hold onto you
to bring you with me into the wakening
to see if we could coexist
in love and unity

© 2005, 2006 thomas bates