sorry folks... someday i shall prevail and this blog shall go on... please be patient and kind :)

sincerly,

thomas


2012 update :
still having writer's blox... stuff use to spill from my head like blood. now the well is dry. eventually i will come out of this dry spell someday.

SUBMISSION

to ask for forgiveness from a sovereign King
is the hardest thing to do
this fear is always there, always present
but still we must submit and bow before Thee
bow before Thee everyday till our knees bleed

© 2001 thomas bates

#33

everything in the clutches of a virus
every strand of you is violated
sleep is your only escape
takes you away into those feverish places
where you can reborn your conscience
escape the pain that will never awake you

© 2001 thomas bates

#32

alone... alone again
it's nice to be alone when i can't
it's nice to be alone when i'm tired
but i want someone to love before i retire
extract my feelings, my memories
become one with the unseen
leave this world behind thee
alone is what i think i shall ever be

© 2001 thomas bates

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS PART 6

i've been living my whole life without You
i've been so close, but still i had no clue
i'm twenty now and see there's nothing left for me
i've lived two lives, i know too much about hypocrisy

lately You have worked in my life, when i didn't even call
i lived the way i wanted to live, but You still didn't let me fall
wild gentleman and crazy man, my tongue wasn't tamed
after it was all said and done, all i ever see is Your face

i've seen there's no heaven on earth, except when sin is gone
judgment day is coming and i don't want to be the one who You forgot
with fear, i'll shed a tear cause i know there will come my day
when i die, i want to look in Your eyes and hear You say my name

© 1996 thomas bates

MICROPHONE CHANT

a microphone waits alone on the stand
a spotlight shines and gives it glory
a book is held in an aged hand
people come miles around to hear his story
walks up to the mic and speaks
pure poetry

© 1995 thomas bates

#31

crawling through the ears
sneaks the aural snake
until it sinks in its teeth
the pounding of the beat
of the ancient tribal spirits
breaks through your skin
slowly pouring in... mixing in
the infusion of the blood burning intense
gives birth to a new breed
the beat drones
slipping you into a coma

© 2004 thomas bates

NEVER SHOW THEM THE WHITES OF YOUR EYES

life sucks sometimes
it gives you the raw deal when others aren't around
you wake up
punch in your card
and it all comes down
twisted as it may be, but it's the truth
sooner or later everyone has to pay their dues
what goes around comes around
but the worst thing of it all
is when nothing really happens
and you are suffering from paranoia
and it was all in your head

© 2003 thomas bates

CLOSED BOOK

what was it that repelled you to me
you never gave me a chance to prove myself
was it anything i said
was it anything someone else said
are you controlled by another
are your decisions your own
i am confused and doubt myself
i do not believe in my abilities anymore
this rejection was sudden and confusing
was there even closure
just by actions alone i got the message
but it is still open ended and yet dead
no life is given chance to blossom

it is sad to see this book closed
there could have been wonderful stories
yet the author gave up
dropped the pen and stopped writing
and the book was put up on a shelf
to gather dust and never be opened again
the death of a character is so sad
but there is no remorse because it was not real
so easy to move on and leave it all behind

it could have been a good story
with a happy ending in the sunset
however shelfed due to issues beyond control
no life to characteristics was given to blossom

© 2008 Thomas Bates

STALIN

you march
they starve
you kill
they're ill
your creed
they bleed
your pride
they die

© 1996 thomas bates

#30

life is exhausting
i do not need money or fame
i am a simple person with simple needs
my stomach hurts all the time
the pain entangles me
but somehow the pain is soothing
i just sit and stay still and let it sweep over me
i want so badly for God's kingdom to come
i am tired of this material world surrounding me
i am getting caustrophobic
people hate me
but You, God, still love me
You still hold your hand out there for me
to welcome me in Your arms when i am tired
trying to please everyone sucks the life out of me
i am exhausted and so tired
by myself i feel uninspired
but when i am quiet, i hear Your voice and i feel safe
relaxing my muscles and letting the fever overcome me
slipping into your warm love, oh, God
and drowning out the world that tries to hurt me
a world that hates me
a world that hates You
a world that shall kill me
a world that killed You
but You still live in me
and even though those i know who fall away in the faith
who say they think You are a farce and a fairy tale
i just feel for them and hurt inside for them
my brother is dear to me, God, bring him back
oh calm down my troubled mind and reassure me
give my weary soul some much needed rest
and help this nightmare pass from me
and awake me to a new day brought to me by Your grace

© 2004 thomas bates

THE CRITICS

this is my inspiration, this why i say
the paper is before me, but my ink bottle spills
oh so many experiences, but i must pick one
but the words i say, i fear that they might burn

what if they hated everything?
and stupidly i'd give them all that i wrote
and now my callus hands grab for all my being
they turned their backs, took away my hands and all my things

i wrote all i knew and felt, and they just toss it away
i can feel their laughter, it cuts into my veil
angry thoughts run through my head, i am not finished
i wish the sarcasm would go away

and now my callus hands hold onto emptiness
they took from me everything
they turned their backs on me and took away my hands
shredded everything
all my love for them has turned bad
they won't let me be or never will i see

© 1997 thomas bates

YOU NEED TO CHANGE

styles are the chains that bind us
we want so much to have the new look
can't we be original instead of a carbon copy
how do we tend to be unique in society?
what's the difference between you and me?
don't tell me it's everything i see
because to me you are just a mirror of me
and please stop copying everything i see
there has to be a difference and uniqueness
how did we manage to become bored senseless?

© 1997 thomas bates

EMOTIONS

day brings a new start
but to act on emotions
brings on the gamble

© 2001 thomas bates

EN MI CORAZON

can you see my pain,
or are you so vain?
i hate being the brunt of your discourse
will you stop the discord and distort?
let me be me
not what you see
en mi corazon, i hurt
en mi corazon, i burn
stop the slander, stop the pain
get away from my windowpane
a stone is lodged in my windpipe
thrown by the ones who gripe
i see it in your eyes
please don't smile (don't lie)
if you want, i shall drop another few degrees
i shall lose my heart, soul and mind which equals me
let me find myself
stop giving me hell
i've had enough of your games
enough of courting your pain

© 1998 thomas bates

THE BLAME CYCLE IS RENEWED

point my finger
it is my power
it is my shifter
shifting the course of life
shifting the blame
and recreate
and never will they know
for they point too
and the cycle goes on...
renewed

© 2001 thomas bates

BLUE: BEAUTY REDISCOVERED

the blue jewel is crying
an inexperienced and uncaring jeweler hurt her
he chipped away a part of her beauty that meant alot to her
that made her feel unique and special
but the master jeweler received her back into his care
he looked at her with compassion and a love unfailing
and brought back her beauty by absolute care
the love that went into reshaping her beauty will never fall away
the blue jewel is shining
her innermost beauty shining forth by the loving care of the master

© 2003 thomas bates

BLUE: THE REFINING

precious jewel of price untold
it's reaching perfections goal
beauty of the ages shine forth
before everyone and her Lord
emotions chisel away imperfections
to bring forth the coming completion
of the finest jewel crafted in time
an art form by true love divine

© 2002 thomas bates

BLUE: THE BURNING

the dullness of the blue jewel is fading
the beauty within is revealing
coming forth in ways never been shown before
the heat of the fire is intense
but in due time the reason of the trial is understood
she is tried true, but she still stands firm
her beauty shines forth
she is ready for the next test

© 2001 thomas bates

BLUE: THE SHAPING

the blue jewel with golden flare
is my best friend, always there
puts a smile on my face
puts a twinkle in my eye
shines brightly in God's light
she is beautiful in His sight
all the roughness is still being chipped away by age
but she will be the most fairest jewel ever made
the caring and love of those around her
will constantly reshape and rebuff the curves
bringing out the inner beauty through the roughness
and she will someday shine forth with extreme brightness

© 2001 thomas bates

BLUE: FURTHERMORE

the blue jewel is hurt
the blue jewel is drowning
into a sea of voices
pushing left and right
fighting for control
i reach out to the blue jewel
grabbing hold
hanging onto safety
wounds are slowly healing
only by time will the blue jewel become priceless
a beauty of unspeakable praise will shine forth
only by the caring and love of those around her

© 2001 thomas bates

BLUE

a blue jewel is sleeping
a silence is keeping
new feelings deceiving?
old feelings fleeting?
the jewel is seeking
the value inside speaking
but still the silence is keeping
and the blue jewel keeps sleeping

© 2001 thomas bates

BREAKING DOWN AND BUILDING ANEW

fight the pain in my eyes
back up and take flight
escape the world that i know
and enter into complete isolation
break down myself one cell at a time
and keep myself in the void
silence surrounds me now
through it all has been the voice of God
Who has all this time been speaking to me
but through my chaos, i have not heard Him
and in this silence i can now finally hear Him
and finally i can find some rest and peace
and slowly rebuild a new me

© 2004 thomas bates