#30

life is exhausting
i do not need money or fame
i am a simple person with simple needs
my stomach hurts all the time
the pain entangles me
but somehow the pain is soothing
i just sit and stay still and let it sweep over me
i want so badly for God's kingdom to come
i am tired of this material world surrounding me
i am getting caustrophobic
people hate me
but You, God, still love me
You still hold your hand out there for me
to welcome me in Your arms when i am tired
trying to please everyone sucks the life out of me
i am exhausted and so tired
by myself i feel uninspired
but when i am quiet, i hear Your voice and i feel safe
relaxing my muscles and letting the fever overcome me
slipping into your warm love, oh, God
and drowning out the world that tries to hurt me
a world that hates me
a world that hates You
a world that shall kill me
a world that killed You
but You still live in me
and even though those i know who fall away in the faith
who say they think You are a farce and a fairy tale
i just feel for them and hurt inside for them
my brother is dear to me, God, bring him back
oh calm down my troubled mind and reassure me
give my weary soul some much needed rest
and help this nightmare pass from me
and awake me to a new day brought to me by Your grace

© 2004 thomas bates