THE MYTH OF THE COLOURS

lost in time and space
what is before my face?
white is all around, it is all i see
is it actually a real colour or is it me?
how do we know objects are the colours we perceive?
but how do we know how to classify what we've seen?
only by physical touch these colours become real
only by our curiosity do we reach out and feel
tantalize our eyes
educate our minds
what is this before me?
what is this thing i see?
is it really that colour, or has my mind decided to play games?
colour is in the mind; if there wasn't segmentation, it's all the same

© 1998 thomas bates

I MISS THEM

apparitions of my past
once in a while come back
but do they recognize me
do they take a second to see
i am under the radar i believe
no one probably notices me
silence and darkness shrouds me
and back in the darkness i keep
in my solace and comfort
but so badly i want to depart
i do miss them when i knew them
but they left and faded into the horizon
one by one away from my eyes
and in their memories another piece of me dies
and again as before i slip in oblivion
and they slip back into their life's rotation

© 2004 thomas bates

CAN WE...

why do we grow old so fast?
why can't we stay young as we are in our heads?
why do we change,
when we age
i want to understand
on my knees with outstretched hands
tears fall down onto the dirt
sweat soaks my shirt
grass stings my skin
why can't we stay young as we are within?
child is lost
lost behind a door that is locked
where is the key?
i want to go back and relive and see
i want to figure out the meaning of life
i want to give life to dead eyes
i want to laugh again
i want to stay in happiness... not in confusion
why do we change,
when we age?
childhood is lost
lost behind a door that is locked
i want to understand
on my knees, i try to grasp the key with my hands

© 1994 thomas bates

GOD

morning dew, sparkles around
laziness falls me to the ground
let go of all conscienceness
slipping out of existence
numbness overcomes pain
it starts to rain
drop by drop i feel it fall
on my feet and on my palms
the coolness splashes over me
open my eyes and what do i see
a water droplet stopped in motion
a minature world swallowed by oceans
the smell of moisture engulfs me
as heat from lightning breaks trees
i am not scared of my surroundings
as lightning strikes down all around me
found my peace with God
and engulfed in His love
He is the ultimate dimension
beyond an universe compression
He takes care of His children
in His hands they are shielded
worlds collapse around me
but He still remains
He showers us in His love
and washes away all pain

© 2001 thomas bates

NUMBERS

2 to the 2, and 1 to the 1
but did you know there's a 4 to the 3
it's all going to be tough
but i'm not going to cease
it's all 17
and it's coming down on... me
but then there's one last 3
after that... i shall be free

© 1998 thomas bates

WINTER SONG

it just came again
time for us to leave, my friend
outside your hell, inside myself is my winter song

come with me, run with me
promise me my winter's dream

we shall leave this place tonight
to winter land we go
in the snow, we'll play
it's time to go home

© 1997 thomas bates

MRS. BOWLES

dedicated to the passing of my high school principle... an old family friend

i know it's late, but i'm real sorry
didn't want you to die
feel so sad, you were special to me
is this the final goodbye

i know that you're in heaven
sad to say your passing was pleasant
i know it's hard to keep from thinking of you in that altered life
i didn't like to see you dying, but it's better on the other side

college has made me old
my past is all alone
you were there i know
watching me go home

© 1999 thomas bates

SMILE ON ME, PRETTY DIAMOND

i breathe in sweat aroma of angelic hair
inside i hold a love that will always care
though time has shaped you into a masterpiece
i hope you will come in search of me
i long for the empty seat beside me to be filled
i long for to see your love inside your heart spill
don't shy away, don't hide
come one, come all tonight
i have never seen such beauty so fair
i would like you to open up and see i care
once in my life, i would like you to come
and smile on me, pretty diamond

© 1995 thomas bates

MEWITHOUTYOU

flowers and weeds adorn the stage
the band goes up in the made up fame
the crowd is embracing them with their words
words of comfort and adoration
dramatic pose and poetry
screamed out in passion and combustion
of pent up rage and sorrow
thrown out at all of our expense

© 2003 thomas bates

SCENE 7/1/2002

sits down... weary one
pounds bottle on the ground
stone looks ahead
music of revolutionary noise flood out the right
curious seekers roll in
some flee the scene
by feet
by wheel
the life source drink is quenched here
orange glow overhead
as darkness tries to suffocate the viewer
bootleggers looking innocent... don't interupt their stolen show
bored youth run after the thrown white ufo in hordes
rainbow hair add to the prism of the colours
friends commune in silent and unsilent conversations
those who have to fight to stay awake get conquered
many pilgrimage to this land even the handicapped ones
crippling affects don't hold them back
a celebration is going on
in different ways in different points of view for different people

© 2002 thomas bates

LAKESIDE

moonlit night
shines so bright
shimmering ripples of a lake
like a crazy fire fly's flame
dancing around in disarray
the trees peacefully sway
people talk to a friendly ear
while an acoustic guitar echos near

© 2001, 2007 thomas bates

CHALK DUST

take away all that i am
take it away from me, You can
i no longer deserve to hold on and to keep
this person, i no longer want to be
erase my soul
make me whole

© 1997 thomas bates

WORDS AND TEARS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT

what can we be proud of?
how can we live on?
tears of frustration and regret
how can we ever forget?
years of pain
what did we gain?
nothing except lessons of how to avoid certain issues
yet barricades do eventually fall and you're faced with "you"
you run and don't stand
many voices behind your back
ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble... on
keep putting the blame on someone
tear down someone to justify the means
yet you're the instigator to this attack on self-esteem
fear is a mind killer
become a fallen broken pillar
to accomplish something, you might never know
till someone hits you upside the face and shows
a diary of painful experiences
is a glimpse of life's lessons
to teach discipline and self-will
then fear can be killed

© 1997 thomas bates

CHANGE OF VIEW

who am i?
who do you see?
when you pass by the room
do you look inside for me?
do you intend to see me?
or is it coincidence of a chance glance
i look but what do i see?
curiosity
but... is it curiosity?
or did curiosity kill the cat this time
i become one with the surroundings
a blur to your passing eye
a blend of colours
why look if only do we look for a change of view
change of environment and atmosphere
passing eyes never to meet
passing eyes that need
a change of view

© 2000 thomas bates

SUNSET BEACH

the breeze is cool on my skin and smells of salt
palm trees dance to the gentle wind's rhythm
seashells give out a rainbow of many colours
onto the beach there quietly unfolds the water
a lonely boat is anchored to the love of fishing
seagulls fly away to nest away their dreams
the sun is swallowed up by the sea
checking out from turning around the earth and us

© 1994 thomas bates

FALL ON THE LAWN

burning eyes
no one sleeps tonight
must keep on
till someone has won
weird conversation
eyes bring questions
candlelight till dawn
when will we fall on the lawn?

© 2003 thomas bates

DARK STAR

music drones through the speakers
no one can be found laying at rest
out here people join the acid test
mister, mister... with your funky guitar...
don't break the beaker
bearded one of the old and weary
you sing not of love, but of lonely journeys
you claim death is your friend
but he became your enemy in the end
there was a time where you sought refuge from the storm
but when death finally caught up with you there was no war
oh bearded one of the old and weary
you sing not of love but of the lonely, hard journey

© 1995 thomas bates

THE BOLSHEVIK COMMUNION

starvation, skin covered skeletons
eyes laced with ambition of freedom
throats and stomachs dream of life's seed
many people line up for faded dreams
money and power in the hands of tyrants
a civilization is choked by their famine
bullets ring out for land and food
but when there is silence, there is doom
explosions are heard all through the land
in the fields, streets and homes lay the dead
swollen bodies are found here
the tyrants do not shed any tears

© 1996 thomas bates

EXPLOITATION

i'm a deer in your headlights
evaluating my life as you see me
but i missed myself by a mile
as you would hit me with your eyes closed
and my pride is smeared all on the road
laying there with the other parts of my life you obliterated

© 2002 thomas bates

THE HEART OF A YOUNG MAN

softly, mother spoke to her child
she told him to stay awhile
serving milk and cookies to kill his pain
and sent him out to play till there was no more day

father broke his son's first mitt in
threw him a fast ball and a spin
but never did he miss anyone
he felt so much pride for his dear son

outside on the street
a boy tries his best to beat the heat
he's all alone
he's got no home
life was good in the past
till he lost his mom and dad
but in his heart, he's glad
for in there, they are not dead

throughout the years
there were some tears
but the love still goes strong
in the hearts of our young

© 1996 thomas bates

FLOOD SIGNS

dripping
slipping
drowning
groaning
losing consciousness
into oblivion
save me
sinking
deeper
deeper
sleeper
sleeper

© 1997 thomas bates

RIPPLES

quietness of the serene
angel of mercy watch over me
guard me with your love
shining down on me from above
ripples in my soul
floating out of the window
into empty spaces
leaving behind no traces

© 2003 thomas bates

#29

many words through many years
many words brought many tears
i write to release my inner demons
to get rid of them before i enter heaven
i am still not perfect... never will
but in the end, i want perfection still
i won't stop till i reach my goal in the end
but it is an everyday struggle in my head
i write questions but to whom will lend an ear to little me
i write questions to my thoughts which are bastard seeds
planted in my head to grow fear and doubt
but i will not give in and i will never fall out

© 2003 thomas bates

A FRIEND IN ME

peace be still
to hurt isn't my will
stay here in my arms
stay here where there's no harm
i can clothe you in security
to be safe is to be here with me

© 1997 thomas bates

#28

her eyes twinkle at me
green of the colour of the sea
blue swallows me
she hides inside of me
i will guard her from all wrong
she is in my heart strong
i am grateful for being her friend
but where shall i stand in the end

© 2004 thomas bates

PEACE THROUGH SORROW

through the doorway they look
something has happened... something is wrong
an empty seat all alone amongst the crowd
the silence from it was very loud
a whisper repeats a phrase of sorrow
"just like a vapor... here today... gone tomorrow..."
a teacher crosses out a name
and life scratches out a face
but out there seeing life in full understanding in God's grace
there is a new and deathless face, but the same old name

© 1996 thomas bates

#27

crawling through the ears
sneaks the aural snake
until it sinks in its teeth
the pounding of the beat
of the ancient tribal spirits
breaks through your skin
slowly pouring in... mixing in
the infusion of the blood burning intense
gives birth to a new breed
the beat drones
slipping you into a coma

© 2004 thomas bates

FLEETING GLANCES

love is not for me
but i want it so much
when will i stop hurting
when will i stop searching
when will i stop searching those eyes
those eyes of avoidance
when will there be a connection
an exchange of greetings and a smile
instead i see nothing
i get nothing in return
and i keep walking
alone

if they only knew

© 2004 thomas bates

SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL FACE

my heart is a room with doors all around
there's no key to that special one i have found
where there was love is now nothing but thin air
i stopped my hands from moving and looked everywhere
i thought i found a love to take me out of this place
someone that i enjoy, but she hides away her face
she's a beautiful face, but it all falls down
and i am left with spinning horizons all around
she's a beautiful face
don't let her get away

i'm all alone, because of one little conversation
i look up, but where's my gaze's destination
my love is gone and the sky has a sorrowful hue
but i see someone, and i finally can get over you
she's a beautiful face
don't let her get away

does she know how much she means to you
then why does she avoid the ever present issue?
does she see you walking around?
what's in her heart, will it slip out?
does she see you late at night,
when she lays her head and shuts her eyes?
what will happen when she opens her mouth?
what will the words be when they come pouring out?

what she doesn't know, would she know now?
what she doesn't feel, would she feel it somehow?

© 2001, 2007 thomas bates

THE COMING OF THE WHALES

a winding road near the edge of the cliff
leads to the house of a man named jim
sitting all the way on top above the ocean
jim enjoys living up there with his woman
at night, she looks out for him
he is a sailor and loves to fish
he will be gone for awhile with full sails
she knows he'll be back with the whales

© 1995, 2007 thomas bates

COFFEE

sitting there
coffee aroma fills the air
my eyes look around
shifting to the air then to the ground
as i look around, something caught my eye
she was very beautiful with a smile that spoke nice
i was astonished, she just kept looking at me
i wonder what she thinks about over what she's seen
her hands held to her chin, she just stares
curiosity is there

© 1995 thomas bates

GETTING BY

life was easy yesterday
i never saw the change
where were you when i was trying to get by?
i miss the way you smiled
now you're a far million mile
where were you when i was trying to get by?

sick and tired of all the silence
the chair beside me is silent
where were you when i was trying to get by?
it wasn't justice for what you done
the change i guess has just begun
where were you when i was trying to get by?

lose in a web of confusion
slowly melt away into isolation
where were you?
i was always there for you
now i'm the lonely fool
where were you when i was trying to get by?

© 1997 thomas bates

DISAPPOINTMENT IS A PAINFUL RIFT

it is so hard to not to disappoint
everyone puts you up so high
sometimes so high that i shall fall
and when i shall fall... please remember
that i have tried to stay on top of it all
but the muscles in me are tense and tried
and my heart is broken from your contempt
and ulcers rack my stomach
please forgive and forget
in this lifetime, we shall be broken
everyone of us at one time sooner or later
but please remember we were friends before
and through it all friends should still remain in the end

it is so hard to not to disappoint

© 2004 thomas bates

CHANCE DICE

i do not like confrontation
brings around augmentation
making bigger any irritations
opening up any chance of separations
mixed emotions
broken devotion
silent stares, quiet thoughts
any thoughts of respect lost
fear comes in, trust is stopped
any chances of anything flopped
every word remembered for future references
redrawing of lines and mending of broken fences
old doubts brought back into play
new thoughts come in to slay
friendship out, avoidance steps in
what was love is now hurt within
if only we can turn back the time
if only we knew our future's crime
but we're stuck here to dine
sipping on hot spoiled wine
bitterness brought to the end of a sunrise
to begin a new day to roll the chance dice

© 2001 thomas bates

#26

i am a rat trapped in a hole
the pain has swallowed me whole
darkness envelopes me and blots out the light
falling deeper into the pit, it is useless to fight
my insides hurt and i am in agony
but on the outside a smile you see
i walk the miles to wear off this skin
never shall i lose, but yet when shall i win
it is a never ending battle and i am in this alone
those around me are oblivious unless i let them know
its constant residence inside me is no longer welcome
i am tired and want release, i want my freedom

© 2003 thomas bates

PURGE

someone is there in my mind
how can i erase my thoughts tonight
get rid of the madness and chaos
but somehow i have grown callous
she is intriguing, but frustrating
i long for peace and separation coming
those eyes, those haunting eyes
they look through me and i cannot hide
i am confronted and i do not like it
she is burying me into a endless pit
my only hope is to remember who i love
and then i shall rise out this pit and above

© 2001 thomas bates

SILENCE

keep me silent and still
to talk to the person is no use
they are immature and arrogant
to have a decent conversation
exhaustive
every sentence begins and ends with them
even if they are not right, they will always
be there
you bore me
you frustrate me

keep me silent and still
since they try my patience
bite my tongue, clench my fist
grit my teeth, lock my jaw
if only my eyes will not deceive me
and let them see the annoyance
in me
you bore me
you frustrate me

shut up
just shut the hell up
will you?
just for one conversation at least

© 2004, 2007 thomas bates

IN TIME OF DESPAIR, I CRY OUT

i want to slip into a coma
i want to leave this life
i want to escape their eyes
i want to feel this thing they call love
i want to kill the identity of "i"
shower down on me, God, Your grace
take away this constant pain inside
put the old me six feet under in the grave
my heart is racked in pain
i want to stand alone in the rain
and let the world around me fade away
and let me relax and find peace again
i can't keep up with everybody's expectations
i can't take the pressure being their superman
i want to take a permanent vacation
and leave this world behind that has me condemned
i am an outsider... a social outcast
only a few really get me and love me
but many look at me and i feel so alone and cold
God love me
be real to me
be more than a word to me

© 2004 thomas bates

AS I OF HER

when it is late and quiet
does she think of me as i of her?
hear the wind blow through the hanging metal
sitting here soaking in the atmosphere
and deep in the dark corners of your mind
a thought is still present and goes stronger by age
a thought of someone you are proud of
a thought of someone you love
to sit, laugh, and communicate with
when it is over though and late and quiet
and all there is but only you and your thoughts
well... does she think of me as i of her?

© 2001 thomas bates

FALLING SAND BLENDING INTO THE SEAS

oh so suddenly
lifted up and carried away on angel's wings
people come and go so fast these days
one day alive, the next day you're dead
like falling sand blending into the seas
we can be caught up and taken where our souls will be free
don't know when or where
but death comes and a bucket of fears he will bear

© 1994 thomas bates

#25

as i walk by i can feel your shadow upon me
yet you never join me
it feels like it was by accident
the day i am graced by your prensence will be grand
to have you walk besides me step by step
breathing the same air and talking to and fro
i long for your companionship and friendship
to join my path of comfort would be refreshing
so i can share with you my joy and peace
yet it feels like it was by accident
to feel your shadow upon me
to smell your perfume
and to have it all disappear as fast as it appeared
hopefully someday you will become a reality
and not just a wishful part of my imagination
and we can walk through this life together
sharing words and glances
and the occasional smile

© 2007 thomas bates

#24

i remember the first time
that i laid eyes on you
i thought you were so beautiful
you were talking to someone
i was walking by the door
i had to stop and stare
felt like the world stopped too
since then i have gotten to speak with you
numerable and precious times to me
your voice is so soothing, it calms me
i remember the time you were introduced to me
your face lit up with that wonderful smile you have
the smile i have seen many times and treasure
hopefully someday we can get past the formalities
for i like to get to know you and be your friend

© 2007 thomas bates

HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

looking in the rearview mirror
ten cars back an evil pursues me
picking up speed pounding the pavement
5, 4, 3, 2... 1 it creeps up on me
fire all around consumes its hatred
the back window shatters due to the heat
the back seats burst into flames
the smoke chokes my lungs as i panic
throwing aside my door i lunge through it
my feet crash onto the pavement and my knees buckle
spinning around i look onto oncoming traffic
the evil is looming down towards me
the heat is blistering and suffocating
but i hit the ground running for life
dodging cars to my left and cars to my right
the ever increasing consuming death at my heels
an eery silence engulfs my mind
i scream to God for salvation deep down inside
the screams escape my shell and echo outside
eyes opened wide and fist clenched tight
my chest is heaving and my lungs are burning
the heat is just unbearable and intense now
and one final word and tear escapes my hell
just before the fire burns my clothes and me as well

© 2007 thomas bates