COLD NOVEMBER

i had to bury her twice
as a lover and as a friend
for one year and a half i tried
to heal our relationship by myself
tried to believe nothing is wrong
tried to keep it together and sane at the same time
i loved her oh so much
even though i am bitter at times... deep inside i cry
deep inside there is a part of me that dies
that wants our good times to stay immortal
not to fade away by time
the problem was us not just me or her
but she didn't care... it was always me
she was always a saint in her own eyes
we were both the instigators and nothing could i do
i could not save her or me from destroying ourselves
and now she's gone and i'm left with regrets
and to pick up the pieces of my broken heart

© 2000 thomas bates