TEAR BEAR

she holds the only piece of security she has
her world was taken away from her at birth
in her mind, life is a cruel place
only known a life of a vagabond
moved around from family to family
love is as small as a speck of dust
hate is as big as a skyscraper
her world was taken away from her at birth
never had anthing secure to hold onto
never had a real mother or father
and she doesn't want to know those who gave her up
she now holds the only piece of security she has
tear bear


© 1991, 2005 thomas bates

#18

the week has been great but long
weather fine but excruciating at times
friends meet and new one are made
gathering grounds of kaliedoscope souls
voices carry and mingle with those dear
a communion for everyone to partake
we join in the music and the dance
and it puts us all into a trance
as we spin and spin and fall down

© 2003 thomas bates

#17

i constantly prune the branches of my tree of life
many years have gone by and it is still not ripe
many relationships and friendships have slipped into oblivion
pruning out the bad infections has become my obssession
in the beginning the fruit was delicious
every relationship and friendship was precious
through time, hurt and pain had set in and smothered maturity
and so came the time to prune out the impurities
cutting them away sometimes by stem or by the entire branch
so their negativity or resentment shall not spread
to not scar the rings of the years to come
to keep the heart guarded and forever young

© 2005 thomas bates

PRISON OF THE SKULL

the voices in his head
grew silent in the end
his eyes rolled back in their sockets
and his hands fell out of their pockets
in his right hand was hidden a knife
this was his last act of violence tonight
from behind the head to the front temple
a bullet hole left the body crippled
with relief the coroner pronounced him dead
his reign of terror had come to an end
scientist have asked to study his brain
to take note of dementia under strain
to their shock as they cut open his skull
they found little claw marks all over the hull
the voices in his head had taken shape of demons
and the host had become their temporal prison
only through death did he find relief
for only then were the fallen released

© 2005 thomas bates

KINGDOM OF THE ZAO

darkness envelopes
as the lights come into play
he stands there covered
blood and sweat
he dominated the night
his serfs run amuk and defy authority
the night belongs to them all
the kingdom of the dark shroud
split into two by the screams of the night

© 2003 thomas bates

ORGANIZED RELIGION/RETRIBUTION

we are your controllers
we have you by the strings
please try to leave... we dare you to
will you be able to find the door,
before the thought police find you?
stand up and sing our chosen anthem
give up your free will and become one
no one has yet questioned us before
so we will keep on conditioning you
over and over and over till you break
only a few of you are strong and resistant
but in fear, you stay silent not to be found
our truth seekers are searching for you
no matter how locked up you stay
we will break you down just like the rest
and install the fear and guilt inside you
and never again shall you threaten us again

© 2005 thomas bates

TO SMILE AT THE FUTURE

there is this hole inside of me that no one can see
i can feel it's edge at my throat and falling down into my chest
not even those who are close to me can get beyond the surface
it gets hard to breathe sometimes because of this void
which is there because of that missing person in my life
you cannot even fathom how it feels unless you go through hell
because it will be the claws of the devil himself taking them away
ripping every piece and essence out of your weakening grasp
someday i will find that special someone to fill that hole inside of me
to discover the most important key to the mystery of the life itself
to open up a new chapter in my life and to be there for the rebirth
as i step up from the grave inside of me and breathe in new life
and grasp every moment i get and enjoy it to its fullest
then fill up this hole inside of me with love and memories
and pat it all down with the security of honesty and trust
finally smile for the new dawn has found me and life has just begun

© 2005 thomas bates

GOODBYE

what happened to me and you?
for it was you i looked up to
but you are not the same anymore
your footsteps are fading on the floor
whoever impressed me to be
has now died infront of me
i do not know where you have gone or what to do
except to now part ways and say goodbye to you

© 2005 thomas bates

#16

my heart is timid
my heart is fragile
when i see you i see my failures
when i see you i see my lost chance
i had a chance to talk to you, but i ran away
you do not have to like me, i understand
you can ignore me and just walk on by
keeping your eyes set ahead of you
and letting me blur into the background
for i do not deserve your recognition
i rather crawl into the cracks in the ground
out of sight and out of mind
yet everytime i see you, my heart skips a beat
the "what ifs" run through my head after you're gone
and then i am faced with my current situation
of not having you by my side, enjoying your company
was it that i did not see a ring on your finger this time?
or is that my eyes are starting to fail on me
and eventually it will not be you i will see at all
and you will forever disappear out of my life
and i will be alone again wishing i could have spoken to you
to get past that cordial greeting and get to know you
to become friends and finally get past the awkward moments

© 2005 thomas bates

ALONE IS TO NOT MOVE ON

to be in between is me
drifting out in the vast openess
your breath is lingering behind
i close my eyes and remember how it was
i am afraid how it will be now without you
to move on through the unknown alone
many are to come : temporal replacements
try on various gloves till i feel finally back at home
but in my silence i am surrounded by your memories
and the brokeness of your longing desires are smothering me
i try to lose myself in random playlists
trying to find something different and new
to escape the pain you carved into my heart
however you end up back around once in awhile
because there are times when i still reach out to you
but it is time to let go... since you left a long time ago

© 2005 thomas bates

SWEPT 6FT UNDER THE RUG

collect all my thoughts
spring cleaning has begun
throw out the old ghosts
scrutiny the new hosts
traitors aren't welcomed here
these eyes have banned tears
the messages have been erased
no longer do i sit old names
no longer do i labor their load
i bury them forever 6ft below

© 1997 thomas bates

WE ARE FRAGILE

what can we be proud of?
how can we live on?
tears of frustration and regret
how can we ever forget?
years of pain
what did we gain?
nothing except lessons of how to avoid certain issues
yet barricades do eventually fall and you're faced with "you"
you run and don't stand
many voices behind your back
ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble... on
keep putting the blame on someone
tear down someone to justify the means
yet you're the instigator to this attack on self-esteem
fear is a mind killer
become a fallen broken pillar
to accomplish something, you might never know
till someone hits you upside the face and shows
a diary of painful experiences
is a glimpse of life's lessons
to teach discipline and self-will
then fear can be killed

© 1997 thomas bates

THE DANCE

the mass floods the area
arms are flailing through this two step
bandana faces bring protection and obscurity
each their own island and ocean
each their own style and language
chaos and passion is found in this strange union
an artform of its own is in flux with evolution
spinning and weaving a wonderful tapestry in the grass
dust rises and falls with each birth pain
the celebration of expression and individualism

© 2003, 2005 thomas bates

#15

you have wakened the god of blood
his wrath will soon run the neighborhood
to eradicate impurity with his horde
every head not bowing will feel his sword
somewhere along the way though our naive ways
we have awakened this blood god and now have to pay
but his time is short as like many gods before him
he shall fall into the earth's firey core within
so he will try to take as many souls with him as he can
to burn for eternity with him in his city of the damned

© 2005 thomas bates

#14

angels and demons always cross my path
my paranoia is still rampid in my head
some are really beautiful, but which i do not know
only when you take the time, you shall see their soul
just a glance across the room into their eyes
a lingering question in your head tries to hide
would it be worth the anxiety to speak,
or should you take guard behind the keep?
it is a chance that can sometimes reap benefits
or it is a perfect disaster waiting to happen

© 2005 thomas bates

#13

i grabbed the lampshade, turned off the light
i needed to sit this through alone in the night
only through my vain desires, i got you to trust me
but the real side of me isn't the person you see

far back in the shadows of my mind and out of sight
the real me is asking to come out into the light
but i remembered the memories and the pain
so i rejected the proposal and pulled down the shades

and that one night, i have lied
to get you to like me... but why?

i am now only an empty shell, nothing tangible lasts
i just hope you won't have any doubts on who i am
however, sometime i have to change my ways
i just wish i will never have to see that day

i wish i had stayed inside and not hurt you
just once i could have been happy, i'm a fool
and that one night, i have lied
to get you to like me... but why?

© 1996, 2005 thomas bates

IN THE MOONLIGHT

oh how beautiful the night
to be cast in the orange moonlight
we laughed and talked and had a good time
but time stole away and now it is upon nigh
she's so beautiful and youthful in the light
her features so detailed and those eyes
they light up when she smiles
but there's a distance between us she keeps for miles
for she belongs to another's caress and care
but still she stands, looking at the moon over there
glimmering stars dance in her eyes
she looks at me, smiles and says goodbye

© 2002 thomas bates

#12

to love is to give a second chance
letting the past remain in the furnace
to burn out the hurt and pain in the white heat
to move on and remember not what happened between
to hate is to let it all die, to not ressurect
left behind at the wake with your disrespect
yet it always comes back growing from a seed inside
and it will once grow to maturity and destroy your life
if not confronted, forever you shall avoid the day
when everything tied to fate brings it back round your way
whenver the time comes which one shall you rely on?
i have picked both solutions to different situations
i am still running to avoid the reunion of hate
one day it shall find me and i shall meet my fate
to lay forever inside that one person's head
pale and cold in the eternal sleep of the dead

© 2005 thomas bates

THE WAY TO ROME

hey how are you tonight?
you better not give me another lie
do me a favor and walk away
spare me another glance at your face
but yet you face me and tell me another lie
i was not the one who you wanted by your side

the way to rome
the way to rome
can easily destroy
everything i wanted to give
the way to rome
the way to rome
can easily destroy
the memory of us to live

© 2001, 2005 thomas bates

EXAMINATION : COMDEMNATION

why are there certain people you cannot have
already their hearts are stamped by an invisible brand
you wonder what it is about you that doesn't attract
what can you do, what things about you can you subtract
is it by years?
is it your fears?
is it your face?
is it your name?
when will the day come,
when you will find love?
and how many people will have to pass you by
leaving you there alone in the end wondering why
completely haunted by their ghost
a voice; a face of an unwanted host
forever locked in the memories of your head
forever yours in this forsaken land
eternal moral lessons and mistakes we pay
always the same thing in and out of everyday
when will the day come,
when you will find love?

© 2003 thomas bates