BACK IN MICHIGAN

drown me, release me from my pain
take me under, take away my stain
i hear the sadness calling my name
i pushed it out before, but it still remains
silence... isolate myself
silence... isolate my hell
he was here, he is now gone
yet he is there, oh my, God
i should be happy
but can you blame me?
it happened so fast, no time for questions
it is my new pain... shock to the system
3 months added to many years of pain
we all prayed, but it all remained
numbed by my shock, numbed by my doubt
it cannot be real, let me... oh, let me out
loud... loud... loud, my diversions i pick
yet stronger... oh, drat... is the death ship
it sails closer... closer... closer
it becomes louder... louder... louder
drown me, release me from my pain
i pushed it out before, but it still remains
another name is etched in my memory
another face becomes blurry
i wanted another fate
i wanted to see thy face
but it fades to black
and it lays there flat
i stand and look and try to resist
i stand and look and hold myself within
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and see myself turning to black
questions they come and they confront me
they become my offenders, defense is not seen
i put my hands in my pockets and become stone
pelt me down... pelt me down... pelt me down
many come today, and later they will go
whatever they wanted, i half way know
yet the questions beat me down
so i stand and look and become stone
i draw a breath and fearlessly look death in the eye
you come... you come... you come to fill my mind
questions... oh so many freakin' dreams
will they ever so leave me alone... leave
release me
oh, please
calmness came first, and then came the intense confusion
i'm surrounded by the suffocating, overpowering fusion
the waves beat, oh here comes the ship
loud... loud... loud, my diversions i pick
but the waves, oh, they... oh so ever beat
they bring the ship closer and closer to me
from the farthest fathoms it came
resist i can, but it still remains
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and look and see thy hands
oh so clammy... oh so cold
oh so constricted... oh so old
i stand and look and try to understand
i stand and look and see thy head
oh so peaceful... yet so quietly afraid
on the closed eyes rest thy mighty name
i stand... i sit... i stand... i sit...
i watch them come... i guard myself within
they cry... they smile... they cry
i stand and look and question why
another offense to my soul
i drop oh so far down below
i want to hold thy hands and cry for comfort
i want to feel the warmth oh stolen in thy depart
i want to hear my name spoken from thy lips
but the sound is drowned under the death ship
drown me, release me from my pain
take me under, take away my stain
it happened oh so fast
and another light fades to black
the past we lay at his sides
we try to smile, yet we cry
a fight gone... a hunger dead
i stand and look and see thy head
a mighty transformation unseen
i should be very happy
but who can blame me?
can't you see what i see?
infront of me... infront of me
sunken in a box, feet hidden from me
silence... isolate myself
speeches of dedication and farewells
waiting rooms... small talk to calm our souls
oh never let me drop... oh never let it fall down
proud it brings to me the guest appearance of the flag
we shall march and march and carry it in our drag
pain still remains
curse the pain
headaches and tremors come in
i can hear the coming death ship
sit and wait for it... it shall come
and when it does, be oh so calm
march... strain... march... pray
march... strain... pray... drag
many sounds does the ship have when it hits the shore
many tears welcome the reaper when he arrives for his chore
i stand and look and understand but cry invisible tears
i stand and look and try to isolate my many fears
bleeding through the flag draped carriage
it's our remembrance, our decodance of heritage
oh so peaceful... yet so afraid
on thy closed eyes rest thy mighty name

© 1997, 2005 thomas bates
in memory of my grandfather