BLACK DAISIES

black daisies in you
happiness was yours until
they came and raped you

© 1995 thomas bates

PEACE THRU THE HARDSHIPS

you came into my life at a fast pace
at the time my mind was in a race
racing to keep things together and in control
the mental and physical torture has taken its toll
however, you were there throughout the whole time
smiling and making me laugh it off everytime
that smile attracts me and those eyes
they intimidate me deep, deep inside
you are leaving soon, but i have a peace
maybe again in the future we will meet
if not i am thankful for the time you where here
for your presence was soothing and numbed my fears
hopefully i shall see you again someday
and if not then golden i hope you stay

© 2005 thomas bates

THINGS THAT BELONG TO THE GROWING

a solstice is always there in my heart
the love of friends will never depart
when i am confused, weary and depressed
i know that i have someone i can talk with
when the answers don't come for some questions
i can wipe away the tears and be accepted again and again
i miss what was... but that is behind me now
i must take their wisdom and advice and grow
when i am confused, weary and depressed
i know that i have someone i can talk with

© 1995 thomas bates

LAMENT OF PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE

i look deep inside my hands
what i give, please do not neglect
there's my love and my secrects
the only things true in this land
in the world of many, jealous man-gods
people march and pledge allegiance to war
i run away and hide from their ominous cars
drown my scent to throw off their dogs
screams... fear... shots... pain... blood
i cry... my love has gone away
blood is on my hands and face
at last here i die in my neighborhood

© 1997, 2005 thomas bates

NEVER WANNA SAY GOODBYE

a wall has come to the end of my journey
my hand is holding some release papers
my clothes are packed in the case
a room is prepared for my arrival
however, i grow tense
i am leaving family and friends behind
a tear forms but doesn't fall
everything is becoming blurry
i see your faces smear and i don't wanna go
never wanna say goodbye

© 1994, 2005 thomas bates

CRUNCHED VELVET

powder blue blouse
earlier had some coffee
still buzzing from the caffeine
and she said it's crunched velvet
or was it french?

© 1998 thomas bates

WHERE MY LOVE DIES

distant... she is distant
ever there, but never present
she is fading
i don't want to lose her
does she know?
does she care?
am i alone?
or is she still there?
fear... stress... pain
my eyes ache from the strain
blood seeps through the orifice
my thoughts are orphans
alone inside my head
haunting me till the end of time

© 2001, 2005 thomas bates

DESIGNER IN CHAINS

i am a trapped artist
not appreciated for my art
do this and do that, do not retort
no one understands me
or even wants to let me help them out
they say all i am is a hack
they think they all can design
it is easy if you have a computer, they say
point here, click there
i give up, it is useless
i am a slave now, not a designer anymore
you have finally taken away my humanity
my reason for being, my identity
now i am nothing
i am now just your puppet

© 2004 thomas bates

#6

your world is not in flux
screaming up to your god
forcing out your questions
to which there was silence
concentration in the present how
your face lit by the fluorescent glow
of the street you mindlessly drive down
your thoughts and mind are no where around
to confront the structure of faith
is the focus shown upon your face
eventhough you did not get your answers
your faith was built a bit more stronger
and you calm down for the rest of the ride
the only space alocated for isolation in your life
to believe is to step beyond your comfort level
slowly and carefully balancing the good and evil
life is dangerous sometimes as you progress further
but what is more dangerous is not becoming somewhat a believer
believing that there is more to this complex life
a world out there unseen to the human eye
life is too precious to take it all for granted living in the now
when you take the time to figure out how to get to the unkown

© 2005 thomas bates

COLD NOVEMBER

i had to bury her twice
as a lover and a friend
for a year and a half i tried
to heal our relationship by myself
tried to believe nothing was wrong
tried to keep it together and sane at the same time
i loved her oh so much
eventhough i am engulfed in bitterness
deep inside i cry and there i died
the problem was us not just me or her
but she didn't care
it was always me in her eyes
she was always a saint
we were both the instigators
and there is nothing i could have done
i could not save her or me from destroying ourselves
and now she is gone and i am left with questions
and to pick up the pieces of my broken heart

© 2001. 2005 thomas bates